Humility in Marriage

Marriage is on our hearts and minds a lot here.  It always seems like there is a problem and a need for prayer. In this culture, there isn't much privacy. Most all work is done in their yards and as you pass by, you can see clearly what people are doing.  It may be wash day and the women of the house are bent over a washboard and big bucket scrubbing laundry. Each morning and evening you can walk through our village and see women bent over with a broom sweeping their yards. Some mornings we can hear the thud of women pounding rice for hours.  On one particular day Michael was walking through the village and he saw a husband and wife fighting.  It wasn’t just any fight, but an all out physical fight.  Michael was taken back by the fight, not only because he saw a husband hitting his wife, but the wife was also hitting her husband with an equal amount of strength.  Michael, along with other men that were around, interceded and were able to calm the husband and wife down and help them to reconcile.  This is the normality of life here. 

We had a woman recently come to us for prayer.  She told us that she was coming secretly and she did not want others to know she was coming.  She was worried of what others would say.  This woman is an older woman, a mother, a grandma.  She wanted us to pray for her child who is making some horrible decisions.  This child has already had one divorce and was on her way for another one.  The mother was devastated.  She told us she came because she believed the only thing left to do was to pray.  She said only God could help her daughter. The woman continued to tell us she couldn’t understand why her daughter was acting the way she was.  This woman proceeded to tell us a little bit about her life story.  One sentence has stuck with me. She said, “I was married to a mean man who treated me badly, but I endured because he was my husband and my family.  I didn’t run away, but I endured and now God has blessed me.” The strength of this woman amazes me.  She sat there beside us with tears in her eyes, begging us to pray for her daughter.  We all three started praying together, her in her tribe language, Michael in English and me in Creole and God heard all three of us.  The faith of this woman is humbling.  She cannot read, will never understand the depths of the Bible, she will never be a theologian, but her faith is the same. One day we will be together in heaven.  Our education is not what matters, our profession will be nothing one day, but our faith will remain.  The verse that comes to my mind is 1 Corinthians 1:27, “But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise, God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong.”

We, Michael and I, are so thankful for God leading us to serve in Guinea Bissau.  We have learned so much through our time here and God isn’t even done yet! One thing we have learned is humility.  If I were to say one thing that makes our marriage a happy marriage it is humility.  Being humble to admit when we are wrong, being humble to allow each other to speak without interruptions and being humble enough to be quiet when you know you are right, rather than fight.  The woman that came to our house in secret for prayer was filled with humility.  I can only pray that God will continue to fill me with humility and with love for others. 

P'Untcha & Fofa

A few months ago we had an interesting visitor.  A lady named P'Untcha and her niece (but she is now raising her as Fofa's parents have both passed away) came to our house because they knew there was a clinic with ex-patriots working there.  Two years ago, Fofa's tibia bone came out of her leg and eventually dried up and broke off.  She never fell or broke the bone, it just happened.  They came up to our clinic then, but there was nothing we could do, so we helped in the way we could and then they went on to a hospital in Bissau where Fofa stayed for three months.  She came back now to see if there was anything more we could do for her.

We are not medical people, but God has put medical people in our life, so we decided to start sending some emails.  We sent many, many emails and heard nothing, until our co-worker, Beryl Forrester, thought it would be good to email a British doctor living in Ziguinchor.  That was our lead, she knew a doctor in Dakar that knew someone and so we made a connection.  A few weeks later, Beryl, Djibi (a pastor in our village went to help with translating), P'Untcha and Fofa were on their way to Dakar for a doctor to look at her leg. 

They returned a week later with little news. The doctor in Dakar said her case would be a difficult one and wanted to wait for a team of doctors to come in December. We now wait to hear if they can do the procedure that would basically build her a new tibia bone and connect it to the bone that remains. He said this would be a very complicated procedure. 

Would you be willing to pray for Fofa? Pray for the doctors to have wisdom and for her to have the opportunity for help. Fofa is 12 years old and filled with love for others. She is sweet and loves the Lord. She believes he has a plan for her life and is patiently waiting for that plan. She has faith God will heal her. 

Karen with P'Untcha, Fofa's aunt

While Fofa was at our house our kids enjoyed playing with her. Micah and Lydia really hit it off with her and played non-stop. They were sad when it was time to say goodbye. In this picture they are waiting at the road for a car so Fofa and her aunt can return home. 

We never know who God will put in our lives but we must live every day knowing each encounter we have is from our Father. 

Let's Go Shopping

Shopping is always an adventure. Sometimes a seller will come to our door and the adventure is on our front veranda, other times the adventure is out in the village or another village. Here are some photos to give you a glimpse into shopping for us.  

   

A man came to our house with a backpack and a bag on his head.  He was selling used clothing, like at a thrift store.  We got a few shirts from him in good condition. 

This man was selling jewelry and came to our yard because of a large amount of women at our well. During cashew season there are a lot more traveling salesmen.   

We buy shoes from men like this that travel from village to village with their bikes loaded in shoes. Flip flops are $2.00, but he does have some that are $1.00.  

We buy soccer jerseys for the boys and skirts for the girls from our friend pictured here.  If we ask him for something, he usually finds it and returns to our house for us to buy it.  The only hard thing is that during cashew season he comes almost every day.  We don't possibly need that many jerseys or skirts! 

We make monthly trips into Ziguinchor for supplies.  We go for two nights and our days are spent walking throughout the city to find everything we need for the month.  We buy all of our food (vegetables for a week since they will go bad) and any other supplies that are needed.  Usually on the list is a jersey for Isaiah since he ruins his so quickly and flip flops for someone if the man in the village hasn't come.  Come, walk with us on a supply run through these photos.  

This is a typical jersey shop that we also go to for jerseys.  Our boys, mainly Isaiah, love to wear jerseys.  They don't last long here because of the rough living of boys, but they are incredibly inexpensive at $3.00 for jersey and shirt.

When we go to Ziguinchor we always get sandwiches to eat.  We go to this lady who's tent is right next to the port.  She has the best sandwiches in town that include meat, lettuce or cucumbers (depending on the season), tomatoes, french fries, hard boil eggs, and topped with sauteed onions, then wrapped in the daily newspaper. These sandwiches are delicious and low priced at $2.00 for a foot long. We don't speak a common language, but she has become our friend. 

Michael needed a battery for his motor (mo-ped type bike) so we stopped in this store in Ziguinchor.  Micah was happily helping him buy the battery. 

We got these two buckets for a great deal!
Now Michael tries to find light bulbs.

Shopping at the hardware stores is like walking into a flea market.  It is a big hide and seek game, but we usually come out with treasures.  

Here is a hardware store that we also frequent.  You can see the machete's on the right side of the picture and the heads to rakes and shovels on the left as well as many other various items.

This is the entrance to a large market in Ziguinchor.  We don't like to take the kids there too much since it is often crowded so we left the kids at the hotel with another missionary and ventured there alone. 

In the market there are shops for all sorts of things.  There are shops for purses, shops for material and shops for shoes as well as lots of other things.  I personally love to look at the fabric, however, I must look uninterested as I admire the beautiful designs or they will become quite eager to sell me fabric.   

There is also your choice of meats.  Besides beef there is also goat, chicken and fish.  

Vegetables are everywhere you look, so it isn't hard finding what we want. 

These carrots looked nice so we purchased a kilo (2.2 lbs) to hopefully last a week, if they don't go bad that is. Without a refrigerator we have to be careful not to buy too much but yet buy enough that we aren't going into market every day.

As we collect our supplies on our monthly trips into Ziguinchor, we have learned to walk carefully through the washed out roads during the rainy season.  During the dry season, the roads are much easier to maneuver.  

Thank you for walking with us on our supply run. We pray blessings to you as you may be going out to get your shopping done as well! You never know who you will meet or what new friend you may make.  We have met many on our supply runs and made many friends.  

Making a Difference

As a youth pastor for the last 10 years there are many times I have wondered if I am making a difference. I have often wondered if teens were actually getting it or were my just words going into the air. I went through this many times in America as I worked with youth and every time it clicked I would go to my office with a little fist pump and say yes!

As we moved to a new country and culture I began to wonder again are they getting it or will they ever? Plus on top of it, I am learning a new language and wondering if I am even communicating well or at all. We have preached, taught, demonstrated, and lived it out, but many times I wondered if they understood anything at all? The suffering and all we gave up, was it worth it?

In the sermon series I recently did, we talked about God’s roles for marriage. We looked at the consequence of sin, which we now fight against, and what it has done to marriage. We talked about raising kids and discipling kids in a constructive way. A few people in the congregation would nod their heads and agree but I was not sure if it was clicking. Then God did what he has done so many times in my life, he gave me a glimpse into the future. I walked over to our pastor’s house in the evening, later than I usually would. As I walked up to the house I noticed a large group of adults watching a war movie at a neighboring house. Then I looked at Djibi’s house and it was that moment all over again when I say “Yes!” All his kids and the neighbor kids are watching a Bible movie on the computer we had brought back for him. We had recently brought these Creole Bible movies back from Gambia. That is not even the best part! There was Djibi sitting inside his living room next to his wife reading the Bible with her and discussing it with her. I was overwhelmed with joy. He got it and was living it out! It was a beautiful picture knowing his testimony. Before giving his life to the Lord, he was filled with anger and hatred for everyone including his wife. The smiles on their faces and the joy as they sat and studied together made these last two years worth it. To top it off as if that was not enough, that coming Sunday Karen and I sat in front of the church and let them ask questions. They asked amazing questions about loving and staying with their unbelieving spouses, how to discipline their children, as well as loving and not ignoring their children. Their questions let us know they got it and were hungry for more. One church leader ended this time with more of a statement then question. He said if we live this way and treat our kids this way the village will pick on us and them. I looked at him and said I know because it happens to our family and children. We are living it with you and at times suffering it with you. I left with the challenge is it worth it? You want a different life and better life for your families and children, so you have to answer the question is it worth it? You may not see the change today, but as you grow older you will see it in kids and God willing, your grand-kids. Our Pastor says to this challenge amen and it is worth it. I walked away from church that morning on top of the world. They got it we had begun to accomplish what we came to do, it has been worth it. I do not know what they will all choose to do, but I know we have faithfully taught and lived it out and now it is up to them to apply it. All the trials, sicknesses, rashes, heat, and frustration were worth it.

Answering questions about marriage and family

We say we must consider the cost to follow Christ and sometimes the cost is tough. Before we came to Africa I had an idea of this, but as I have lived here the cost has become something deeper. I understand much better what Paul wrote about many times. For us it has been worth it and we would not trade any of it in for anything. I look forward to the years to come and watching this church grow and apply what they understand. I hope someday many years after our time here is done, that my family will have a opportunity to return and see the 2^nd and 3^rd generation Christians and they difference their parents sacrifice made. This may never happen but it is a dream. I love these (Yes!) moments whether it was a teen or young adult heading into the world sold out and willing to buck the normal to follow God or a forty year old Africa man willing to buck his whole culture to follow God. My prayer is we all will continue to consider the cost and say yes to Christ no matter what the cost may mean. That is the most important thing in life saying yes to our Father and Creator, nothing else matters. If we can teach our children this like our friends in Catel, think of the difference it will make for the kingdom. I strive everyday to be obedient (with a joyful heart), to run the race God put in front of me, so that one day I may also hear well done my good and faithful servant. If my children learn nothing else from our time in West Africa, I pray it will be this one lesson that has taken me some many years to learn.

Written by Mike 

Hardships of Life in Catel

I would like to introduce you to Jonsinu. You may call him Jon. Jon has been working at our house by weeding the peanut fields. He asked us if we had work for him so he could pay for his school registration. He has been working through the hot sun and through the rain showers without complaining. He cut his finger with his machete, but after we cleaned and bandaged it he continued on with his work without even a wince. 

Jon is entering the 7th grade and is 26 years old. In 2008 his father died and he had to drop out of school. Since then he has worked, gotten married and now has a 2 1/2 year old daughter. This last year he built his own house. He says he has no other preoccupations, so he can finally continue his education. He says he wants to study hard so he can provide for his family.

In a culture of give me's Jon is working hard so he can pay for his schooling. I wish I can end this story telling you he is a believer, but I can't. His story is just beginning. We pray he comes to know the Lord. We invite him to church, we share the gospel with him, but it is not us that can change a man's heart, only our Father Jesus. Would you join us in praying for him? 

Photo Time!

It has been a while since we did a blog of photos, so we decided to post a lot of photos to give you a glimpse into our life through photos. We hope you enjoy these! 

Dave recently came down to do some work on the new clinic building.  We had missed his birthday so Jada made him a chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting.  It was delicious!

To bring some fun to our lives we decided to eat our evening meal with serving utensils.  Meals can become so mundane here being the same few meals repeated over and over, so eating with utensils made it a lot of fun.  These kids ate a lot this night! 

Fellow missionary, Beryl Forrester, had a birthday so we partied it up together! When the guys all left to run some errands in Ziguinchor the kids and I decorated his house to surprise him.  He was quite surprised and loved it.  We also made carrot cake with sort of cream cheese (we used laughing cow cheese) frosting. 

Two neighbor kids, Sally and Beniceo, playing at our house.  The photo bomber is Zeke who is now serving with us in Catel. 

With so much of how the kids play in our yard being filled with violence we wanted to find an alternative way to use their creative energy.  There was a sand house building competition in our front path/yard.  This one in front won. When it was finished it even had a thatched roof and a veranda, very authentic.  

We started having some of the teenagers in the church over to practice looking up Bible verses quickly.  Lydia and Jada's friend, Elizabeti, liked it so much she wanted to turn it into Bible studies.  She has come many times to study the Bible with the girls.  

Hair cut day! Nothing is ever done in secret when you live in a small village.  I cut three boy's hair (well one young man and two boys) with a huge audience each time.  Not to mention all the little boys asking me to cut their hair too.  I told them all that my razor only can cut white people's hair.  :) 

Oh these four.  We could just name them all trouble, walking trouble. These four spend almost every day together and often times get into trouble together.  This particular day they had just gotten back from looking for fish out in the rice fields.  

I don't really know how to explain this picture, other than invasion of the flying termites!!! In the rainy season on nights after lots and lots of rain these flying termite drones come out and are drawn to light.  This night our new homeschool room, that was apparently built on a nest of them, was invaded.  When we woke up the next morning we could hear a buzzing sound through the door to that room. When we opened it we saw that the room was alive.  Yes, ALIVE.  These bugs were covering the floor of the room as well as in every nook and crany of the room, including their school books.  It was a rough way to wake up, but hey we still had breath so it was a good day.  

Every Sunday we cook for any children that are in our yard during the time we serve lunch.  We never know if it is going to be just our kids and the neighbor kids or much more. This day we ended up feeding 25 kids during a heavy rainstorm.  It was complete chaos, but was a wonderful blessing.  

What was just a typical soccer game in our yard turned into a mud fest when a downpour started.  Isaiah, however, enjoyed mud wrestling. 

Our children enjoy playing Uno with their friends on quiet days.  Uno is a game our kids have taught many children to play.  

Last, but definitely not least, is a picture of Rebekah.  If you don't know yet, Rebekah is our laundry lady's daughter.  She is like another child for us but her favorite is Michael. The other day I was at her aunt's house and Michael walked up, Rebekah took off running, throwing whatever was in her hands down and took a flying leap into his arms.

We hope you enjoyed these pictures! It is a joy to be a part of the lives of people in each of these pictures and so many more that aren't pictured.  Blessings to all of you! 

Transformation from Darkness to Light

Binta is a small, fiesty, mother of three boys and a wife to one of our church members.  When I first met her two years ago, my first impression was that she was a tiny, little lady that seemed nice, but was quite shy.  As the days went on and I got to know her a little better I quickly realized she was much more than that. She may be small in size but she is quick with her temper and wasn't shy about letting it be seen.  I had seen her beat her children many times and my children had witnessed her attempt to slam a wooden stool into her husband's head (she missed).  She had been beaten by her husband many times and when you looked into her eyes they were dark and lacking of life.  Her children also were filled with anger and often were beating up on other children.

Her story doesn't end there, she is also from one of the poorest families in our village.  In fact, her immediate family, (her husband and her with their children) do not even have their own house. They have one room in her brother-in-law's house.  As if this is all not difficult enough, Binta has struggled getting pregnant and has had many miscarriages.  She has suffered much, as have so many women in Guinea Bissau.

Binta has been coming to church for a long time and has heard the Word of the Lord but had not committed her life to Christ.  Her husband is a believer, and has made many mistakes along the way. Binta is a woman that needs Christ and she has finally made the choice to give her life over to Jesus.  A little over a year ago Binta sat in front of our church congregation and confessed her life of sin and committed to live her life for Christ.  Her transformation has not been a small one.  She is a dramatically different person today.  She speaks with love and kindness.  She reminds her children of God's Word through her disciplining. I have seen her endure another woman insulting her and speaking badly to her and she did nothing.  It reminded me of when Jesus was beaten and spit in the face and he did nothing in return.

One day I was sitting with Binta on a bench outside of a house on her compound when her four year old son and his cousin got into a fight.  The two boys proceeded to start punching each other but quickly stopped when Binta called to them to come to her.  They slowly came over, possibly anticipating a beating, and when they got to us, Binta gently spoke to them and asked them to tell her what Jesus says about hitting others when they hit you.  Her son slowly lifted his eyes up to meet his mom's eyes and started to quote a Bible verse. She then asked them to apologize to each other, which they did, and then they walked off with their arms wrapped around each other as if nothing ever happened. Binta had been transformed.  She was no long filled with anger and hatred, but is filled with love and compassion.  She has the fruits of the Spirits and they are overflowing out of her.  

A few weeks ago we had a women's Bible study and I used Binta's life as an example.  The other women there all nodded their heads in agreement and the oldest woman there, Mama Mane, kept repeating "Amen" over and over and saying it was true. I used the example of how Binta treated her children before she was a Christian and how she treats her children today. This is what Christ can do.  Christ can transform our lives to reflect him.  I think of Galatians 5:22,23 - But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.  When we are true believers, our lives should reflect these fruits of the spirit and that is exactly what Binta's life does. 

We can only praise God for this transformation.  She is an example to all of us and we pray that she will continue to grow in the Lord.  

Binta collecting salt dirt from the dried up rice fields.

Today, Binta works for us by cleaning our house Monday - Friday. This little bit of money helps her to be able to buy fish and a little bit of vegetables for their daily rice dish, pay for schooling for her boys and buy clothes for her family. She enjoys interacting with our children daily and our children call her mom. When they see her they run into her arms and she interacts with them much like Michael and I do. When she is at our house if she sees one of our kids goofing off during school hours she will ask them if they should be doing school.  Our children have many moms here...we aren't sure how much they like it, but we sure love it!

Our children have enjoyed playing pranks on her with a toy lizard friends sent over for them.  Our children will hide it in different places just to hear her yelp and run. We all bust up laughing and then she ends up laughing along with us. She also enjoys it when we have baked a cake.  She loves the baking we do in our house as well as the occasional delicious American breakfast.  Her favorite is Amish baked oatmeal. Binta is a part of our family. 

I have been blessed to see this transformation in her life.  Binta is illiterate and will probably never be able to read, but her faith is real and she is growing in her walk with Christ every day.