I've always been the early riser in our family. When the kids were really little I would try to wake up before them, waking up at 4:00 in the morning only to hear the pitter patter of their little feet soon after I woke up. I came to enjoy that time one on one with them and I would often read God's Word out loud determined (often desperate) to read some scripture before the chaos of our day started. Now, when I wake up I am reminded of my children getting older and how one day I will not need to tip toe by their rooms in an effort to not wake them, as they will have their own homes and hopefully tip toeing by their children's rooms trying to get time with our Lord before their house wakes up.
This morning as I sit reading God's Word I am reminded of the need for God that I have. Wednesday night at church, Michael talked about our breath prayer, the prayer we just say without thinking about. I have not been able to stop thinking about my breath prayer, wondering what it is. The only thing I can think of is, "Lord, I need you." When we lived in Guinea Bissau it was an obvious need. I needed God to get through every moment of every day. I needed him when my muscles were weak, but yet I needed to draw water. I needed him when I would try to school my children with my yard full of other children wanting to play and a constant flow of interruptions. I needed him to help me to understand the language, to be able to speak back and for him to help communication to be understood. I needed him when I led Bible study. I needed him all the time. Here in America, I understand the language, water comes from a tap, children aren't constantly in our yard fighting and screaming, and there are rarely interruptions, so initially, I found myself wondering how I needed God. I knew I needed him, but the need seemed different. This morning God whispered that need to my heart. I need God to help me school my children, to help me to be an example to them. I am a missionary to my children and I need God to help me every moment of every day, but it is more than that, a breath prayer for me is my breath. God is my breath, my life, I need him to function.
I have struggled and tried to push him away and stand on my own, but that is when my life crumbles. That is when I have nothing to give my family and no joy in my heart. Being a missionary it just seemed so obvious the dependence on Christ, but here the dependence is just as urgent. We live in a sinful world and we need to commit every breath to Him. It is God who gives us breath. What is your breath prayer? Are you breathing for Him?